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Conditional server side includes and cookies

I can't write PHP or Javascript. I could learn, but I don't have much interest. Most of my websites are good old-fashioned static HTML and I use server-side-includes a lot. I thought I would write, in simple terms, about some of ways I've used them.

Classic Colgate toothpaste ad

A marvellous Colgate toothpaste ad from the early 1980’s based on ‘Baggy Trousers’ by Madness. And here’s a version for the US market with some of the same kids. But with every trace of Britishness and most of the Madness imagery removed it doesn’t quite ‘get it’ and ends up looking like a dog’s dinner.

Smashing Time, baby

A sequence from the rarely-seen 1960’s British comedy Smashing Time, starring Lynn Redgrave and Rita Tushingham.

Carnival Queen is a boy

The Daily Mirror reports that thousands of local people lined the streets of Axbridge, Somerset (population 2,025), to cheer their new village carnival queen – 15-year-old David Bridge. ‘Schoolboy David beat three girls to the title. He wore a tiara and flowing dress as he took pride of place in the parade. David proudly waved Carnival Queen is a boy